Jumping back into the dating pool, especially after being in a long-term relationship, can take courage.
While getting to know a potential mate is exciting, it can also be exhausting and full of uncertainty. To make matters more complex, new technologies and cultural shifts have changed some of the dating rules. In some cases, that makes things easier – with online dating, an eligible single near you could be just a click away! But it also can make the scene even more intimidating.
The good news is that plenty of men and women have conquered dating after a divorce, break up or loss of a spouse. Here’s our best advice for getting the most out of finding and enjoying new romances.
Manage Expectations
I know, kicking romantic notions and fantasies to the curb isn’t the sexiest advice…but long term, it’s a good game plan. Mentally preparing yourself for whatever happens will not only help you handle a less-than-ideal date, it will make you truly grateful for a positive experience. Perhaps most importantly, it will stop you from giving up after a single disappointment.
Remind yourself that not every person you take to dinner is going to be the love of your life (or even the right person to bring home for a night or two). But there are plenty of people out there, and being open to every experience will give you the best shot at finding what you’re looking for when dating after a divorce.
Own the Situation
Are you nervous? Feel like a rookie? Sometimes, the best way to break the tension is by simply letting your date know. One divorcee shared on reddit that his secret to a solid post-divorce first date was being “…totally upfront with where I was at in life. We sat down and I said straight up, ‘You’re my first date in a long long time, so I’m really nervous.’ After that, (and a glass of liquid courage) things were totally fine. So I guess the moral of the story is to be honest about where you’re at, if you’re nervous and such and things should be okay.”
Get Excited About Sharing Some New “Experiences” (wink, wink)
It might be a bit nerve-wracking to get back into the sack with someone new, especially if you are coming out of a situation where intimacy was scarce. But new partners to experiment with, as long as it is done safely, can be one of the best parts about jumping back into the dating pool.
One female divorcee discovered that for her, “Sex is SO much better! Before divorce, my ex-husband had been my 1 and only experience. I didn’t realize what I was missing out on, now that I’ve had several partners I realize what I like and don’t like and know what’s out there. It feels liberating.”
Another online blogger raves that getting back between the sheets can be liberating for many reasons, especially now that “You know what you are looking for in a partner. You might prefer someone who isn’t afraid to take charge, tie you up, and ravage you all night long. Or maybe you would prefer to be the dominant one in the bedroom. Whatever your preferences are, make your experience work for you in finding the right partner. Or at least, the right partner for a night or two.”
Get a performance tune-up
If you are worried about erectile dysfunction which is very common in men over 40, or if your erection is not as firm as it once was and you need a performance boost you should book an appointment with FullMast Men’s Health Clinics. We use a multimodal approach for the enhancement of sexual function, including both focused SONICWAVE for ED, and radial SONICWAVE for performance “tune-ups.”
