Category: How to be intimate with a partner who has erectile dysfunction

  • Intimacy Without An Erection? What You Need To Know

    Intimacy Without An Erection? What You Need To Know

    Intimacy Without An Erection

    Physical pleasure, feel-good hormones, increased closeness – there are so many reasons people crave a healthy sex life. While busy lives can get in the way of regular intimacy, most Canadians are able to find the time and energy to do it on a regular basis. But what if a couple is facing other barriers in the bedroom?

    Yes, we’re talking about erectile dysfunction. If you’re a Canadian man over 50, there’s a 50% chance you will deal with this at some level in your lifetime. While there are definitely medical ways to alleviate these challenges, it’s a good idea to consider a partner’s needs and feelings.

    There are many ways you can manage intimacy without an erection while working towards a treatment plan. Good old fashioned communication and a basic understanding of the research around sexuality can help ensure a partner’s needs are met even when things aren’t working 100%. Here are the two main things your partner could be missing if you have erectile dysfunction, and how you can help fulfill their needs.

    Common Problem #1: A partner is missing the emotional closeness of sex.

    Most people know that sex releases the feel-good hormone oxytocin, but they may not know just how vital those can be to building a bond between two people. Oxytocin has serious bonding power, so it’s no surprise that couples with higher levels of the hormone tend to have longer, happier relationships.

    Besides missing out on the hormones, partners can feel emotional distance when a partner with ED refuses to communicate about the issue. If you allow a once healthy sex life to fizzle with no explanation, you could be causing unnecessary stress and damage to your relationship. There’s absolutely no reason to be ashamed of a treatable medical condition shared by a large percentage of the population.

    Here’s the good news: A long hug can release the exact same hormones as sex, especially if skin-to-skin contact is on the menu. Combine the cuddling with an honest conversation and some ED treatment, and you could be on your way to a healthier relationship.

    Common Problem #2: A partner is missing the pleasure of sex.

    There’s obviously more than one way to give a partner pleasure in the bedroom, but it isn’t always easy to adjust to a sex life without intercourse.

    It may be worthwhile to see a sex therapist to open a dialog about what alternatives make the most sense in your relationship. What feels the best for your partner? Is it important to them that you also enjoy yourself? What are their needs, exactly? Solutions can range from adult toys to tips on manual stimulation, but it all starts with a conversation.

    The best thing for you and your partner is information

    If your partner is distressed at your erectile dysfunction, it usually means that they value your intimate relationship. They may also be concerned that they are to blame for your lack of interest in the bedroom. This can come out in negative ways, such as withdrawing, frustration, anger or self-blame.

    Many men want their partners to be supportive when they are dealing with ED, but let’s be honest – it’s easier to be supportive when you know what exactly you’re supporting.

    You should talk to a specialist as soon as you start experiencing symptoms of ED. This will frame the issue medically, helping to remove stigma or shame and move towards real solutions. Show that you care about the intimacy you share with your partner, but don’t apologize for your medical condition – recognize it, address it, and treat it.

    If you live in the Toronto or Vancouver area, our doctors at FullMast Men’s Health Clinic are here to help. For your free, confidential consultation, call us at 1-844-500-1177 or schedule an appointment online today.

  • The Best New Year’s Resolutions for a Steamier Year

    The Best New Year’s Resolutions for a Steamier Year

    Choosing a new year’s resolution can be tough. With so few people keeping their December 31st pledges, is there a point to making a resolution at all this year?

    If you want a little more action in your love life, the answer is a resounding YES. Many specific lifestyle changes are proven to improve things between the sheets. If this is your goal, it might be worth trying some of our doctor-approved new year’s resolutions for better sex in January.

    Learn How to Relax

    A mind racing with stress can definitely get in the way of enjoying intimate encounters. The inability to relax can often manifest itself physically, affecting everything from sex drive to performance ability. Whether it’s taking up yoga and meditation, trying therapy for deeper issues, or just going for calm walks, learning how to relax is one of the best new year’s resolutions for better sex. Relaxation can help anyone looking to improve focus and comfort, in and out of the bedroom.

    Make Time For Intimacy (With or Without a Partner)

    As we get older, finding time for sex can sometimes feel like a chore. But consider it a necessary part of your routine–studies show that not only is intimacy vital for a long-term relationship, regular activity can be important for single people who want to stay in the game. For aging women, sexual activity is the best way to slow or reverse the effects menopause can have on the elasticity of the vaginal walls. Scheduling some regular time for intimacy is vital to keep everything working as long as possible (plus, it’s fun!).

    Quit Smoking

    I know, I know, this is a challenging one. But if you’re looking for a major change in the new year, quitting smoking can have a huge impact on your sex life. While science is still debating just how much quitting smoking can affect things like libido and blood flow, smokers are significantly more likely to develop issues like erectile dysfunction. Non-smokers, meanwhile, have significantly more sex overall (up to 2x as much, according to this study!). Giving up cigarettes is among the best new year’s resolutions for better sex we know.

    Get Help For Those Nagging Issues

    If everything isn’t running the way it used to, and physiological challenges are getting in the way of a healthy sex life, it’s probably time to talk to a professional for some real solutions. A healthy mind and body are a great starting point, but if something more serious is at play, the new year is a great time to make that trip to the specialist you’ve been putting off.

    Whether it’s seeing a gynecologist to address menopause-related issues, visiting a clinic like FullMast to find treatment for erectile dysfunction, or finding a sex therapist to help your relationship, bringing in backup might be the move that saves your sex life for 2017 and beyond.

    Most of All…Have Fun!

    Life is for living, after all! If you approach your sex life with a sense of play and romance, and make it a priority in your life, 2017 could be the best year yet between the sheets.

    For our part, we are looking forward to helping even more men in the GTA and Vancouver areas with effective, comprehensive erectile dysfunction services in 2017. If you could use our help getting your new year off to a great start, call 1-844-500-1177 or make an appointment online today.

  • Could It Be Erectile Dysfunction My Guy No Longer Wants to Have Sex

    Could It Be Erectile Dysfunction My Guy No Longer Wants to Have Sex

    Erectile DysfunctionJulia, a 57-year-old woman presented to my clinic because her husband John of 20 years had lost interest in having sex with her which resulted in them living in a sexless marriage for the previous two years. Julie was experiencing a roller coaster of emotions thinking she was no longer desirable or that he was having an affair.

    She and her husband John never discussed the fact that their sex life had all but disappeared. She was very anxious and the situation was having a negative impact on their relationship and she worried about their future together. She loved him dearly and was still very much attracted to him.

    For many years, they enjoyed a happy and healthy relationship and sex life. They had the building blocks of a very successful marriage; good jobs, a lovely home wonderful children and a great sex life. Sex had always been the grout of their relationship and without it, she felt they were crumbling.

    Julia then recalled that toward the end of their sex life, John was having difficulty attaining an erection and began to lose his erection in the middle of their lovemaking. She remembers attributing this to her having gained a bit of weight during the menopausal time.

    Given the fact that he was losing his erections and his age of 60 it was likely that he was suffering from Erectile Dysfunction (ED) defined by the DSM-V (the bible of sexual disorders) as the inability to attain and maintain an erection adequate for penetrative sex.

    Erectile dysfunction is common and treatable

    ED is very common and may affect men at any age although it is more common in the later years. It is not uncommon for men to be embarrassed and stressed by ED as this strikes directly at their manhood. It may affect a man’s sexual self-esteem and is a common contributor to relationship issues. For these reasons, it is often difficult for men to discuss ED with their partners and/or their doctors.

    Good hard erections are about blood flow. Extra weight especially abdominal weight may increase the risk of ED as will alcohol and certain health conditions like diabetes and medications. It is vital that men speak to their doctors about ED as it may be a risk factor for heart disease and is called the “canary in the coal mine. “ I encouraged Julia to have a conversation with her husband about ED as a health condition.

    It would be important for him to speak to his doctor about it because many times, treating an underlying condition may reverse erectile dysfunction and if that did not do the trick then medications such as PDE5 inhibitors (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Staxyn), vacuum pumps, injections, pellets and/or SONICWAVE™ an innovative new therapy might.

    Julia felt equipped to have a dialogue with her husband and she realized this was important for them to address together. “Silent no more!” she proclaimed as she left my office armed with new health information.

    Written by Maureen McGrath